an attempt to get healthy.

I haven’t been taking this very seriously lately. It’s time to get back in the swing of things. I’ve made pacts with two people.

1) For every pound my friend gains (he’s trying to bulk up), I have to lose a pound, up to 35 pounds.

My lady friends and I like to go out, drink beers, and eat food while watching college ball games. This is becoming a problem in the wallet department as well as the weight department.

2) No matter how badly we want to, the only food we’re allowed to order when we go out is a single appetizer, and we have to split it.

I’m also going to completely eliminate the fast food. I can’t do it anymore. It’s terrible for me, it’s too much money that’s just wasted on junk, and it makes me feel terrible. Being a fatty is really frustrating.

Since it happened I guess I haven’t really thought about how happy it makes me. I am under 200 pounds. It’s probably been two or three years since I could say that. I am in the 100s. Regular, healthy people are in the 100s. I wouldn’t say I’m regular or healthy yet, but I’ll get there eventually. This is ridiculously exciting for me. Is it ridiculously exciting for you too?!

198. Under 200. This calls for a celebration.

I have reached 200 lbs. I have a date tonight. Let’s get this party started.

So, how can I say this without feeling lame? I probably can’t.

Well, I’m on this dating site. I’m not gonna lie, sometimes, when I’m really, really bored, it’s just fun to creep on people like facebook. But anyway, I started talking to this guy. I think we’re the same. On Friday we sent texts to each other allllllllllll day long. It was so cute. I think he’s legitimately awesome. So, right, the point of all this- I’m really scared to meet him in person. I really don’t want him to think I’m Fatty McFatterson :\

I’m down to 203. I’m taking my sweet time doing this thing… At least I’m not gaining anything, I guess.

Oh, so I’m officially not a pescetarian anymore. When I don’t have enough time in the morning to make my lunch before work I end up going to Chickfila. God, I love Chickfila. I love waffle fries dipped in Chickfila Sauce, and I love chicken. I’ll still choose fish over chicken if it’s an option, but with time constraints Chickfila is really my only option. I could go to Burger King and get a veggie burger, but those kind of taste like soot and poo.

I should probably look up the nutrition junk for the stuff I’ve been eating lately… I don’t think I’d be very pleased. I opt for the grilled chicken sandwich instead of the fried stuff though.

I think work is trying to kill me. I have to be there from 7:00 am - 3:45 pm. I get 45 minutes for lunch, which seems like a long time, unless I don’t bring my lunch and I have to try to buy lunch at the same time as everyone else. But whatever, that’s not the part that’s killing me. I have to wake up at 4:40 in order to shower and do my hair. 4:40!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you understand how ridiculous that is? I fall asleep at my desk at least 30 times a day.

I’m just so tired.

Slowly but surely, I have made it down to 205!

Let’s get this party started.

I got a job. It’s a terrible job. But it’s not manual labor so it’s not the worst job. Things were crazy there for a little while, and I was eating a lot of fast food. I’m back on track now though.

I feel like I have things under control. Not just with food, but with the majority of my life.

Getting a job gave me that much confidence? I guess so.

In other news, my jogging buddy moved home for the summer. I miss my friend :( But I need to grow a pair and learn how to do things by myself.

So I’m at home visiting for Mother’s Day. Whenever I’m at home I eat like I’m starving. It’s usually all relatively healthy stuff. It’s just a lot.

I feel like crap and I want to go jogging in the morning. It’s 2:18 am right now though, so I’m not sure how that’s going to work out. If not in the morning then I’ll definitely try to tomorrow night.

Also, I want these shoes:

208 lbs

I’m at 208! I wasn’t very excited about weighing myself today because I’ve been eating like shit and haven’t been jogging aaaaand I started my period yesterday. I thought I would have gained some poundage for sure, but I lost a pound instead. What is this magic? I started eating like a healthy person again on Wednesday. Now I’m motivated to keep it up.

I wish it was as easy as just sticking to it. When I was talking to my friend he kept saying “just do it,” but it’s really not that easy. I’m not trying to make excuses, I swear. I don’t get it. I have no will power? I’m good for about a week or two, but then I kind of just give up. So I have about two weeks worth of will power?

It takes three weeks to develop a habit. I read that somewhere a thousand years ago. It’s just harder with food I think. Temptation is everywhere. Commercials are all over the TV. Friends want you to go out for dinner and drinks. I’m not going to give up my drinks. I might not drink as much, but I’m not going to quit drinking. I feel like salads aren’t a great idea if you’re considering a night of drinking.

It’s like trying to quit smoking. (Yes, I smoke. I realize it completely goes against this whole wanting to be healthy thing.) The last time I tried to quit I lasted approximately five hours. Every time I see a Truth commercial I feel like I need a cigarette, regardless of the message it’s trying to get across. It’s because it’s reminding me about that part of my life. No commercial/reminder at all would make it so much easier to quit. Plus, it’s just too easy to get your hands on them if you want them, and it’s the same way with food.